It runs rampant in organizations and claims millions of victims each year. Lurking behind polite discussion, smiles, promises and handshakes is the inhibitor of innovation, the destroyer of momentum and the killer of trust. You and I witness its carnage on almost a daily basis. The silent killer in organizations is passive-aggressive behavior.

Recently we asked executives to share examples of passive aggressive behavior. Following are their stories:

Executive “A” says: Passive-aggressive behaviors unfortunately reign in my organization.  Often our leaders fail to engage subordinates during discussions when they disagree with presentations. Instead they wait until post meeting discussions with their peers to state their opinions and effectively criticize the work.  Just once, I’d appreciate someone saying “what did you intend to say by this slide” or “you obviously thought this was important for me to know, please tell me why”.  Instead, the behavior is to dismiss the content in a literal sense and lose the chance to leverage the team’s work.

Executive “B” reports: Passive-aggressive behavior creates a lot of inefficiencies within our system. This type of behavior does not lead to good collaboration which is necessary for the success of an organization. It also creates a lot of tensions and lack of trust between people at the top and then cascades down in the entire organization.

Executive “C” states: Passive aggression is my “pet-peeve”. It is the most destructive and fundamentally dishonest behavior that can be displayed in a business or a team environment. People who display these behaviors seem to have a few consistent attributes-they lack confidence, they fear conflict and they are more interested in the “game within the game” than they are with meeting objectives, and working as a team member to move things forward. In other words, it is about “them” and their fears/frustrations and not about the team, the shareholders or the customers.

Executive “D” explains: Specific instances of passive aggressive behavior at my company include individuals intentionally not doing something or not following through on a key execution point with the hopes of seeing an initiative led by another team member fail and/or to make another person look bad. Sometimes this is an obvious effort to detract attention away from themselves and their flagging performance. This behavior of the passive aggressive-waiting until a public moment to punch well thought out holes in another team member’s goals, actions, or plans-is damaging and disingenuous.

Executive “E” laments: During my career two different organizations featured the combination of strong silos and passive-aggressive behavior amongst the leadership team.  Passive-aggressive behavior played out in a number of ways and was highly dysfunctional. Although the organizations and players were different, these behaviors caused similar problems: Reliance on the blame game when things didn’t go well; lack of alignment in vision and goals; higher emphasis on internal politics; and tactical versus strategic focus.

My View? Passive aggressive behavior is ugly, it’s dishonest, it’s cowardly and it kills trust.

What’s your story?

It has been an employer’s market for quite a while. Unemployment is high, jobs are supposedly scarce and human resource offices are buried under resumes.  Many people think they’re lucky—if not happy—that they have a job and they wouldn’t dream of looking for another. Tenuous security apparently is the new comfort zone.

However, many believe this is the year tenuous security loses its appeal. Surveys show up to 32% of employees are actively seeking a new job, and some high demand occupations are predicted to have a 25% turnover rate.

“Poaching” is now re-entering the job scene.  One expert says turnover costs in 2012 could run as high as $2 trillion. Inevitably, it’s the best employees who head out the door first—and with each departure, knowledge and training disappear.

The key issue here is the statement about employees feeling “lucky—if not happy.”  There are many reasons for dissatisfaction in the workplace.  There is the threat of losing a job and not finding another, and the converse, downsizing survivors who feel like they got the wrong end of the deal: Still no pay increases; still no bonuses; often a reduction in benefits; and the leftover work ends up on the desk of those “lucky” people who kept their jobs.

Surprisingly, numerous studies demonstrate that pay, bonuses and benefits don’t matter to employees as much as hope, encouragement, validation and appreciation. Employees who feel valued are twice as likely to stay in their current job, in spite of compensation and benefits.

All it takes to keep good people is to make sure they know how much you value them—I should know, having worked both sides of the proverbial fence.

The good news is that you don’t need fancy recognition program or a formalized reward system.  All you really need is a leadership team that can keep a positive attitude, appreciate the efforts of others and make sure that credit is given where it’s deserved.  A simple “thank you” can make all the difference in the world.

A leader’s sincere positive attitude—not lip service—lifts everyone’s spirits, encourages confidence and allows people to focus on the job at hand. Sharing good news, even hopeful news, helps employees build a compelling vision of a future where a job change is neither necessary nor desired.

It takes humility on the part of management to put their people first. Sadly, humility is easily lost the higher a manager climbs.  Here’s a challenge for those who wish to keep their staff motivated and intact:  Ask your people to tell you how they see you as a manager—scary stuff—yet it’s the first step in learning how to keep these important people committed to you and your objectives.

Of course, the economy could get shakier, and people may be frightened back into complacency. In the meantime, people are starving for hope and encouragement, and the price tag reads FREE!  It is up to each of us to pay it forward.

In an increasingly pressure-packed world it’s not surprising that incidents of hostility, anger and resentment abound. Prolonged stress often brings out the worst in us-we become less tolerant and understanding of those around us, less focused on the wants and needs of others, and if you are like me, far more willing to offer a one-finger-wave to those who dare infringe in traffic.

I used to believe my anger was the result of what someone else said or did. However, I’ve come to realize that belief is a lie-the truth is that we each choose to get angry-no one else is to blame for our anger.

Dale Carnegie once said:  “You can measure the size of a person by what makes him angry.” In other words, our anger reveals what is inside of us. Our ability or inability to control anger directly correlates to the values by which we choose to live. When our values are externally focused our anger usually is kept well in check. When values are self-focused we’ll easily rationalize being angry at someone or feel justifiable anger when we’re not getting our own way.

Our response to life situations and to the people around us are clear, reliable indications of what is going on inside of us. If we value love, our response toward others will be caring and compassionate, even in difficult situations. If we value gratitude we will be thankful for what we have, rather than being upset because we can’t get what we want. If we value teamwork, we’ll be happy to help the team achieve its objectives even if it means we don’t get our own way.

Dr. Samuel Peeples sums it up beautifully: “The circumstances of life, the events of life, and the people around me in life, do not make me the way I am, but reveal the way I am.”

We each are responsible for our own response in every situation. An angry response is a symptom of something else that is going on inside…something that causes us to abandon deeply held beliefs and values. Often that something is fear. Fear of the unknown. Fear that we won’t get what we want. Fear that we will fail.

Fear causes us to ignore our core values and respond with self-focused, irrational, often offensive behavior. Such behavior isolates us from others, it causes them to steer clear of us and it limits our ability to have positive impact at work, at home or in the community.

Anger management anyone? Don’t play the fool, examine, embrace and live-out the values you know to be good and right and true.

Examine your executive team, or any team for that matter. Sure you’ll find several talented, exceptional Class “A” executives. But, almost without exception, you’ll also find team members performing below an “A” level…maybe even one or two at the “C” level.

The fact is the world is made up of “A,” “B,” “C” and even a few “D” players. Demographics of executive teams seldom differ.

Regardless of the talent composition of your team you’re still expected to deliver “A” results, right? It’s complicated and impractical to clean house, so what’s a manager to do?

Here’s the good news: You don’t need all “A” players to deliver “A” results. What you do need is each of your players aligned in mission, vision and values contributing their talents and best efforts to achieve collective “A” performance.

Here are tips to making A + B + C equal A:

1. Understand and acknowledge that it’s not individual accomplishments that deliver the greatest results, but individuals acting together as a team that exceed expected corporate performance.
2. Embrace the idea that every individual possesses strengths that can help the team and further organizational goals.
3. Accept that your job as manager is twofold: a) identify the inherent strengths of individual team members and b) coach each team member to build on and contribute in their areas of strength.
4. Encourage even greater performance through the strengths of “A” players; develop strengths and improve performance of your “B” players; challenge “C” players to “raise the bar” or be ready to move elsewhere; address sub-par performance of “D” players and take appropriate action.
5. Create a team environment of trust in which each team member relies on the other to operate in his/her area of strengths.

Economic reports tend toward the positive. Surveys indicate a bit more optimism. Organizations are selectively hiring and unemployment shows sign of decline.

So begins the rebuilding of a more hopeful, confident society. To do our part, the TAI mission remains the same: Guiding and equipping leaders to impact and transform society. We hope each of you will join us by embracing and living out the tenets of Values-based Leadership. Equip yourself for the journey by reading the free e-book: “The Power of Values-based Leadership”. Now is the time to renew–to lead with purpose, integrity, compassion and humility.

In 2012, become an advocate for Values-based Leadership, at work, at home and at play. Please share your e-book with your friends and colleagues. Let this be the year that we join forces to bring wholeness, health and provision to a hurting world.

Happy New Year!

Davis

Holidays, parties and gifts are all fine, so long as we don’t mention the “C” words, because the “C” words apparently are offensive to some. Some people in the workplace even corrected me when I wished them a happy “C” or a merry “C.”

Look… clearly I want to respect the sensitivities of others, but at the same time, where’s the respect for me and my values?

Rather than judge from our own lens, it seems to me we should celebrate each person’s values, encouraging peaceful and productive expression of those values. We should respect individual belief systems because our acceptance would demonstrate connectedness among us, dependency between us, and humility within us. Humility fosters acceptance; acceptance garners mutual respect; mutual respect fuels hope.

Think about it…most disagreements, arguments and fights come about because we want our own way. Rather than respect the views of others we feel justified shouting them down or locking them out when we don’t agree. We crave and demand our own way, and when we don’t get our way, we manipulate, legislate or demand it.

Such self-focus cheats us and it cheats others – self-focus breeds discontent, disharmony and despair. On the other hand, humility and selflessness are the birthplace of peace, hope and joy.

Whatever holiday season you celebrate this month, I encourage you to explore and celebrate the power of humility – it is a peaceful, joyful transformational force that generates hope.

For me, this season is about hope – hope that we’ll learn to respect and accept others; hope that we’ll consider the wants and needs of others equal to our own; hope that we’ll embrace humility and selflessness to bring joy, peace, hope and healing to a hurting world.

My friend had a valid point. Let’s face it, markets are chaotic, natural disasters abound, unemployment is rampant, foreclosures are sky-high, there’s armed conflict on most continents, and all the while political maneuvering is a pathetic joke… the world just isn’t feeling very grateful right now.

I agree. The world is not feeling very grateful right now. Maybe that’s the problem—we are not feeling grateful. We’re so caught up in what is not to our liking, we’re so focused on things that are not going as we would like, that we’ve lost sight of what is good and right and positive in our lives.

Personal experience teaches me that when I’m not feeling grateful, it’s usually because I’m focused on me. Experience also teaches me that when I look outside myself and focus on others, I find every reason to be grateful.

Consider your work environment Think about what people do well, how they add value, how they contribute to the team. Remembering these things we’re less likely to dwell on the things others don’t do so well.

Reflect on your circumstances. Think about the luxury and convenience in which the majority of those reading this live compared to most of the world. Thinking about the luck, or the fate, that put us in such positive circumstances certainly should compel us to a significant level of gratitude. We have water to drink, food on our tables, shelter over our heads and hope for a better future.

Think about your spouse, children, family, friends and colleagues, and what they do for you, day-in and day-out. Remember the laughter, the love, the joy, the camaraderie we each enjoy as a result of our relationship with others. Focus on such intangibles minimizes the influence of unpleasant and inconvenient circumstances which are out of our control. Focusing on what is good in people certainly minimizes our willingness to criticize or judge.

Pondering my circumstances and relationships, I realize there’s much for which I am grateful—life, health, the world we live in, family, friends, teammates, committed suppliers, loyal clients—and it makes me want to cry out: Thank you!

When was the last time someone gave you a genuine thank you? When was the last time you demonstrated genuine gratitude to another person? True gratitude is mirrored. It brings a lift in spirit to both the giver and receiver.

Perhaps this season we could embrace a positive message, uplift and encourage each other in wisdom and truth, be thankful for our blessings, for what is, with gratitude in our hearts.

Highlighting a high profile CEO, the article says he was fired for “abrasive” personality and management style. Also documented in the article were other prominent CEO’s allegedly let go due to abrasive personalities and leadership styles that alienated others.

What, I wonder, is so odd about firing leaders for having abrasive personalities and management styles?

Aren’t leaders accountable for setting positive examples, living out corporate values?  Aren’t they supposed to create trust and build highly effective executive teams? Can leaders with styles that alienate others genuinely engender the trust and commitment from those following them?

To me, the real question is: Why are leaders with abrasive personalities and management styles left in their roles at all? 

Frequently, it is because they make money for the corporation; sometimes it is due to someone they know; sometimes it is because the company expects obedience, not trust. Sometimes “abrasiveness” is a matter of opinion—what is abrasive to some is hard working, hard driving, success to others.

However, no one I know will commit to someone we don’t trust—an interesting fact is that we tend to trust most those whom we like and for whom we have respect (John Dickson, Humilitas).  Does it not stand to reason that followers will commit more energy and effort to produce more/better results for leaders who aren’t abrasive?

To me, an abrasive management style indicates excessive self-focus, which  typically manifests itself in a demanding, autocratic leadership style coupled with expectations for gains in personal reputation, power and wealth—characteristics that alienate team members and followers, while undermining trust.

Admittedly, my evidence primarily is anecdotal, yet leaders who demonstrate empathy, selflessness and authenticity are most effective in creating organizations that produce the highest employee engagement and deliver better than expected business results.

Leaders I’ve seen fail usually failed first at building trust—and it wasn’t for lack of basic integrity—instead, it was because their followers didn’t trust their motives and didn’t trust the leader to care about them as individuals or as a community. In most cases it turns out the followers didn’t like the leader very much.

The developmental challenge with abrasive leaders is to notice the tendency early in their careers and coach them directly on the issue. Some of what makes certain people seem “abrasive” can have roots in good things that need to be reshaped a bit.

Being fired for having an abrasive personality and management style is odd—really? I don’t think it odd… unfortunately, it’s just rare.

If you are a leader, have you pursued a healthy dose of self-awareness lately?

Recently the Gallup Organization reported: “In average organizations, the ratio of engaged to actively disengaged employees is about 2:1.”This troubling statistic implies about half the employees in most companies are simply punching the clock, getting by with minimum effort, and showing up at work to collect paychecks and health benefits.

“Actively disengaged employees erode an organization’s bottom line while breaking the spirits of colleagues in the process. Within the U.S. workforce, Gallup estimates this cost to be more than $300 billion in lost productivity alone” (www.Gallup.com, August 23, 2011).

Actively disengaged employees are not excited about their jobs, they are disconnected from the work community, and they can have bad attitudes…resulting in limited innovation, minimal teamwork, lackluster customer focus.

What is the antidote for actively disengaged employees?

Ultimately, it’s the leader’s effectiveness in creating vision for a preferred future, in establishing an appropriate, values-driven culture that determines the level of employee engagement and thereby, organizational results.

The antidote for actively disengaged employees is vision, empowerment, trust and fulfillment. And the best remedy is a leader who will embrace and practice values-based leadership.

Are you a values-based leader? Ask yourself the following questions and rate yourself on a scale of 1 to 10 (highest). Better yet, ask your employees to rate you – the answer you receive will indicate how close, or how far, you are from being a values-based leader.

• Provide vision and direction
• Do I provide a compelling vision for the future?
• Do I articulate and live-out corporate values, leading by example?
• Do I act with integrity, valuing people over profit?
• Do I relate to others with humility and compassion?
• Do I strive to provide fulfillment and significance for all employees?
• Do I foster empowerment and teamwork?
• Do I communicate with and coach my team effectively?
• Do I demand accountability for myself and others?

Values-based leadership is about you aligning with and living-out corporate values on a daily basis. It’s about you as a transformational leader bringing true value to employees, suppliers and customers rather than seeking personal rewards, recognition or power.

Wiser than showing half of your staff the door would be examining answers to the questions above. Becoming a values-based leader will make a positive difference in your organization, in the lives of your employees and in your own career.

Will you be the antidote to the Disengaged Employee Epidemic?

Questions? Comments? We would love to hear your thoughts.

Nicole Stempak recently applauded the fact that “companies are looking to manage risk by promoting an ethical work culture. By switching from a controls-based to a values-based approach, ethical conduct can be ingrained into the way they do business-and that can have an impact on the bottom-line.”

Within the past twenty years, in the wake of scandals perpetuated at Enron, WorldCom, Global Crossing and others, Congress rushed to legislation, the SEC implemented more stringent rules and the Justice Department entered the fray. More recently, the still enduring financial crisis prompted authorities to tighten the reins and implement a myriad of regulations and controls. So, are we better off today, now that corporate behavior is appropriately legislated?”

No doubt, the financial interests of shareholders are more stringently in the limelight. On the other hand, benefits are not so clear concerning the driving forces behind every business-its employees and customers-the very forces that enable financial growth so eagerly sought by investors.

Are we missing the point? Are we asking the right question? Instead of seeking to control behavior in corporate America, we should ask: “How do we influence the behavior of corporate executives to choose an ethical path of integrity that meets the legitimate needs of all constituencies – shareholders, customers and employees, alike?”

“70 percent of Ethics and Compliance leaders reported the top corporate priority for this year is growth,” wrote Friso Van der Oord, Leader, Ethics and Compliance for LRN, the company that conducted the 2010-2011 Ethics and Compliance Leadership Survey Report. “An ethical culture is key to fueling that growth. Risks will go down when ethics in organizations are truly lived and truly embedded into the way business is conducted,” he said.

In short, the issue of values answers the question … because values govern our behavior. As long as we condone greed, pride, ego and self-centeredness as acceptable individual values, no regulation can be truly effective.

Our society rewards leaders who achieve financial results, thereby creating wealth for shareholders; however, we conveniently turn a blind eye to the methods, preferring to rationalize that the means justify the end.

Ultimately, we control executive behavior in corporate America through a reward system that recognizes short-term wealth creation as the end goal. Sounds good on the surface, so why would anyone in their right mind chose to tamper with the model? Why surface the questions of ethics, integrity and values?

Because, according to Van der Oord: “An ethical culture is no longer a way to do what’s right morally but a competitive advantage to the marketplace. While business ethics and compliance may have been a technical function in the back office, it is now front and center as a key mindset that differentiates an organization.”

So, what does ethical Values-based behavior look like?

• Values-based leaders lead by example.
• Values-based leaders sacrifice personal agendas and personal recognition for the good of the organization and for the individual good of their employees.
• Values-based leaders ensure their purpose is to serve rather than to be served. They listen, they learn, they inspire respect, they lead with integrity.
• Values-based leaders create value through others, instilling a single-minded pursuit of excellence to meet legitimate needs.
• Values-based leaders hold themselves and their people accountable for their actions.
• Values-based leaders drive long-term corporate results and deliver significant, sustainable ROI.

Values govern behavior: If we understand our values, we can predict behavior. While specific sets of values are neither good nor bad, it is certain that leaders with a particular set of values produce optimal organizational results. And notice these leaders do in fact create wealth, for the long-term, without trampling their employees or cooking the books.

Questions? Comments? We would love to hear your thoughts.